Your birthday passed again.
It never gets easier to celebrate it without you.
I imagine you 4 years grown from your last day… You are as vibrant as ever.
You’ve mastered the guitar and found the love of a girl.
The love that you always deserved.
Love that you bestowed upon everyone that you met, has finally been reciprocated.
You have traveled to the most captivating landscapes and derelict cities.
The things that you have come to understand through your travels have only built upon the strong character you already had.
And the art that you make… well let’s just say, you have become quite talented.
Those tattoos that you always wanted? Guess what? You have gotten a couple of them… and there is only one that you regret.
Your plans for the future are extravagant… but you were always a dreamer.
A dreamer, but also a doer.
This is so easy for me to imagine because you continue to live through all of the lives that you touched.
We carry you with us in our hearts and through our actions.
So Happy Birthday, darling.
Let’s keep this up.
You think it gets easier with time. And it does, mostly. But when dates like these happen, all you can think about are the stupid little memories that don’t really mean anything. Like the fact that they’d stand in the same spot every day in between class to wait for you, but not what they said?
Why is it so hard to remember the good things? The letters they wrote telling you how much your relationship meant to them. What they said when they bought you a unicorn shirt because you asked them to be your date to a dance. How happy they were to discover that you were actually related.
There’s no good way to end this post. Just like there was no good end to him. And there will never be an end to these birthdays that make me feel emotions when I don’t want to.